Serial Plant Killer!

Another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the dust.

While checking out at Home Depot this afternoon with a cart full of plants, I confessed to the sales lady “I’m a serial plant killer.”   For a split second, I think she didn’t want to ring up the sale – afraid I’d be back soon to buy more unsuspecting plants.  I’m exaggerating but there’s a bit of truth to what I told her.  I do not have a green thumb.

The sales lady says, “You have the wrong attitude. Plants like a positive atmosphere.”   She’s right.  I don’t have high hopes because I have never been able to keep plants looking healthy and green for more than a few months.  So she advises me, “Try talking to to them more.”

"Garth" is lookin' good in the dining room.

"Greenlee" is lookin' good in the dining room. For now.

LOL.  What should I say to them?  “Welcome to your new home.  Try to ignore those dead-looking plants over in the other room?”  My 12-year-old daughter is tickled with our new plant plan.  She’s named the new ones:  “Garth”, “Greenlee” and “Buzz”.  She has lengthy explanations for her name choices.  I really don’t care as long as she talks to them nicely on a daily basis.

I suppose my new green friends won’t want to hear what’s making news on Fox Chicago.   They’d probably prefer tidbits from HGTV. Meantime, I hope they’re not getting bad vibes from the dog.

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Nancy Loo

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11 2009

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  1. 1

    Oooh Greenlee looks pretty!

    The only plant we’ve ever had in my home are those bamboo submerged in water. And even those eventually die too. lol. I’d like to see if talking works for your new plants. Can you also find if they can be trained to some little house cleaning for me? Because then I’d really run out and buy a couple of ‘em. Hah!

  2. 2

    I have the bamboo too. It’s still alive… for now.
    I once killed a cactus!

  3. 3

    I’m afraid I am neither a plant person nor a pet person. I am a kid person. I have never let one of my children go 60 days with no water until they shriveled up and had to be dumped, all crispy, into the greenwaste container. Likewise, I have never accidentally left one of my kids in a bunny hutch in the backyard and forgotten it so that it inadvertently cooked to death in the afternoon sun. I consider this something of an accomplishment, and don’t beat myself up over the deaths of unsuspecting houseplants. (No actual pets were harmed in the making of this comment).

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